Back Where It All Began

If we know anything here, it is the power of a bigfoot sighting.

Patterson scrambled across the uneven ground, waving the camera in one hand, the film blurry as he ran. He stopped to crouch and steady himself, then trained the lens on the strange figure, the camera shaking from his breathing. “Bob! Cover me!” he yelled over his shoulder to Gimlin, who rode toward the creek, dismounting his horse and drawing his rifle.

The picture steadied as the creature, mid-stride, turned to look over its right shoulder—just a glance—before it disappeared into the forest. A skunky, rank odor hung heavy in the air. The whole affair was over in less than a minute.

The Man Who Created Bigfoot- Outside Magazine

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Gotta Be Smarter Than Your Average Foliage

Fishingjones was manning the Troub-Alert when an item came over the cryptozoology wire smelling like booze.

Man killed while trying to create Bigfoot sighting

“…alcohol may have been a factor but investigators were awaiting tests.”

Takeaway:  if you’re trying to be seen, don’t stand in oncoming traffic in the dark wearing camouflage.

Better yet: if you’re prone to harebrained ideas AND drinking, you might as well just go fishing. You could drown, true, but you probably won’t end up as an item in Boogan News.

1jltg

yeah, boy, some people, huh?

p.s. faking Bigfoot is dishonest, and it makes Bigfoot mad, and you’ll wake up with a moose head in your bed.

also: this has been Buster’s totally gratuitous Bigfoot post for 2012.

STILL Your Western PA Bigfoot Sighting Interweb HQ

Every so often we like to bust out the search stats and see what kind of wacky Google antics are landing you freakies at our site. Recent favorites include “fly brigade shit,” “ridiculously complicated elevator,” and “forced to eat sweaty panties.” We love you guys.

The all-time top 20 since 2007 includes 3 that are all related to a goofy story that we linked to in our very first week of operation, about some boogan who spotted Bigfoot somewhere in Western Pennsylvania. Frankly, we just wanted some content up there when we went live, and hell, why not Bigfoot, right? Sprint right out of the gate!

So our search stats have pretty much always included “bigfoot sightings,” “bigfoot sightings in PA,” and “western PA bigfoot.” It’s something we’ve always enjoyed, looked forward to, hell even taken pride in. But lately, sadly, the frequency has fallen off a bit. Not entirely, but just enough to make us melancholy, which is bad news when we’re out of everything but gin, you know?

So this here post is a bit of an experiment to see if we can get those numbers back up. Hell maybe we’ll get a horde of cryptozoology geeks with this awesome totally real no really photo of the Western Pennsylvania Bigfoot RIDING THE GODDAM LOCH NESS MONSTER AND FLIPPIN YOU OFF!

bigfootridingnessie

Bigfoot dry-humping Loch Ness Monster in Western PA lake

HOLY CRAP GOOGLE! IT’S GODDAM PENNSYLVANIA BIGFOOT FISHING IN SOME GUY’S POND! IN PA!

SASQUATCH! GESUNDHEIT!