Hard to believe, we know, but it’s time once again for The Hideous Jabbering Head of Izaak Walton’s Very Hairy Holiday Revue Special Thing! Ike likes to open with a song.
Oh the gallant Fishers life,
It is the best of any,
’Tis full of pleasure, void of strife,
And ’tis belov’d of many:
are but toyes,
and I hope I get the one with Kunge Fu Grippe!
In the Black Forest they celebrate by getting shitfaced, setting fire to 800-lb straw-packed oak wheels, rolling them down mountainsides into sleepy villages and making bets on the fates of the panicked peasantry as they flee in terror. Here comes a Merry Christmas! Who’s dreaming of sugarplums NOW, proles?! And though I can’t think of anything more perfectly German, I must say that they’ve at least got a handle on merrymaking. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t want to try this? Like, right now, let’s go.
A festive holiday story from a while back that I like to share at this merry time of year. I grant you The Power of Lutefisk!
And finally, Brother Glista’s done it again. Behold this year’s holiday fly candy, fever-dream fresh from the festive frankenlab:
Be safe, scamps! Now go make some merry!